The effect you have on me - Drabble [Tom x Reader]

“Sometimes, I feel so alone in this world, like a tiny speck of nothing in a sea of emptiness.” Tom begins in a soft undertone and a slow incline of his head, eyes falling shut as a way to avoid your stare while he lifts his hands to the top of his head. Those slender beautiful digits of his splicing through curly locks of dark, abundant, swept back hair–his cap that he took off prior, the culprit whom rumpled the sophisticated coiffure. With a slight inward arch of your eyebrows with eyes bearing sympathetic tendencies for this usually cheerful man you’ve come to know, you watched him as the tips of his fingers brushes against his scalp in gentle movements, as if they would ease the anxiety you could feel emanating off his body in waves from where you sat beside him on the wooden bench, situated in a low activity area of Hayden park so you both may not be disturbed by people or fans.

Not sure what to do but listen to this sudden acknowledgment of hidden feelings you’ve never known he stored away within himself–never brought up into daylight until this very moment– you inched closer to him and brought a hand to rub against his back up and down where his spine was arched over moderately. You heard Tom inhale deeply through his nose at your touch, the ginger caress of your hand that strokes his back prompts a despondent sigh that he releases between his taut thin lips as he then allows his hands to fall from his hair before resting upon his splayed thighs. No matter how hard you tried to search for a memory similar to the circumstances you now found yourself in, you couldn’t remember a time when Tom had openly displayed such a depressed side of him, and you can literally feel your heart plummeting with every second that flies away from you in his presence. And although he has opened eyes, he still refuses to look at you, instead setting his blue gaze straight ahead on something else.

“This feeling used to gnaw at me a great amount of time when I was younger, and I was able to shun it out of my sight when I started focusing on becoming a actor; yet, there are times when it manages to find a way to creep back into my mind. I know that I’m surrounded by people wherever I go and I don’t ever regret becoming acquainted with the ones I know now because there are some really amazing, talented people in this world that I haven’t met yet, celebrity or not.” As he casts his eyes downwards and gives his head a gentle shake, you notice a few loose stray curls hitting his forehead lightly as he clears his throat. “But…it’s still there and I don’t know how to get rid of it. I feel like there’s something missing in my life that I’ve yet to find that would fill this deep emptiness in me, or I maybe…perhaps…it’s because I never got the chance to express myself m-more to you like I wish I did a long time ago …” 

Suddenly, he turned to you, arranging his seated position towards your direction to get a proper look at you, his knee touching yours; and you realize how short the distance his face is from your own. With eyes reflecting rain, drips an unknown despondency that forms two puddles rippling of sedated heartache; their gentleness almost indicating a silent intensity as they penetrate your eyes, leaves your muscles immovable. And you cease the motions of your hand on his back, subconsciously felt the vertebrates of his spinal column beneath your fingers despite the denim blue thin cloth of his cotton dress shirt in the way of having contact with his skin.